BLONDE'S YEAR IN REVIEW

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

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February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....

Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

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March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2-4 years!"

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April - Trapped on escalator for hours..... Power went out!!!

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May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

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June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

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July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

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August - Got locked out of my car in rainstorm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.

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September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

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October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.

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November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.

Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

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December - Couldn't call 911...."duh"........ there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

What a year!!