In a Tokyo Hotel:

Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please.

If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Paris hotel elevator:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:

For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

English well talking. - Here speeching American.

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